可以幫我看開發信的內容嗎? - 國貿工作討論

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Dear Mr./(or Ms.) XXXX,


Good day! How are you?

We obtained your company information from Overseas Office Republic of China
(Taiwan). After we viewed your office website we know your company is
operating as wholesale distributor of quality textiles for over 40 years in
United States and have been importing variety kinds of textiles product from
worldwide. We found website doesn’t show that your company do importing
fabric from Taiwan, so we are writing to inquire if there is opportunity for
establish business relationship with your company.


We, XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX(公司名) was established in 1968 who have over 35 years
experience in sourcing, manufacturing and exporting Taiwan textile products
to worldwide customers and our customers are from among apparel, household
industries. We help our customers develop Taiwan fabric what with excellent
quality and realistic price. We can provide fabrics made of man made fiber in
both woven and knitted and proceeding many kinds of finishes in compliance
with customer’s need, such like W/R, W/P, Coating and so on, if you are
interested with importing fabric from Taiwan, please don’t hesitate to
contact with us for further discussing.


Thank you for your time for viewing our E mail, and look forward to your
early reply.

Sincerely yours.

XXXXX XXXX(人名)


可以請大家幫我看看有什麼需要改進或潤飾的嗎?我之前都是一直用一個格式狂寄開發信
但成效不章,所以我打算很認真的看要開發的客戶的資料,再依他們的資料各別打信件
看看這樣回覆率會不會高一點?但其實我的英文能力並沒有很好,所以擔心會寫的很死版

希望各位版友能夠撥冗幫我看看,謝謝!!

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All Comments

Edith avatarEdith2010-10-09
1段倒數1行:establishing; 2段第4行:fabrics which have
Lauren avatarLauren2010-10-10
2段第5行:provide handmade fabrics and diversity of~
Wallis avatarWallis2010-10-12
謝謝您的指正,第二段第五行我是想說我們可以提供人造纖維
製成的布料
Isla avatarIsla2010-10-13
website前可以不用加OFFICE.還是你想說official?
Dinah avatarDinah2010-10-14
various kind of textile products
Jacob avatarJacob2010-10-15
這麼說來說好像是腦袋裡是先有official這個字 後來想到這個
字好像是官方的意思,所以不自覺的就把它改成office....orz
Lily avatarLily2010-10-16
所以說複數是在加在名詞上 我忘了textile 在這裡是形容詞了
真的很感謝版友熱心的指正
Bennie avatarBennie2010-10-17
我不是英文系的 XD, 我想應該有很多人英文比我好 我先閃了..
Hedwig avatarHedwig2010-10-18
不會啦 很感謝呢^^
Regina avatarRegina2010-10-20
不同的人會有不同的寫法,要是是我我會先自介然後,你文章大概
Jacob avatarJacob2010-10-21
文法詞態小地方修一修.我會免用I怎樣怎樣.舉例第一段最後一句
Mary avatarMary2010-10-22
Therefore, please kindly advise if ... 寫法真的很多,對美
Hamiltion avatarHamiltion2010-10-23
國人可能越簡單越好...
Michael avatarMichael2010-10-24
人造纖維artificail fiber 沒看過用man-made fiber
Yedda avatarYedda2010-10-25
老實說這一篇太長了 幾乎不可能被閱讀 很容易直接跳過
Jacob avatarJacob2010-10-26
我們原本在用的格式更長呢..不知是否能請您給予縮減的建議
Jacky avatarJacky2010-10-28
太長了,還沒看完就delete了
Necoo avatarNecoo2010-10-29
太長+1~~~~廢話一堆
Yuri avatarYuri2010-10-30
推 太長
Hardy avatarHardy2010-10-31
我也是沒看完,就直接來推太長 @@ 不過是我個人淺見啦!